An Open Letter to Winter

March 4, 2010

Dear Winter,

It pains me to say this, especially since you have been an annual part of my life for more than two decades, but you need to go. It is time to move on. The winter wonderland that once made me think of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer now conjures up images of The Shining.

I don’t mean to be overdramatic, but I would probably equate walking to work down Washington Boulevard every morning to that episode of Man vs. Wild where Bear Grylls treks across Siberia. It really is that bad. Perhaps that is an exaggeration, but I really would appreciate some warmer weather.

I’m not saying months (many, many months) from now you won’t be welcomed back into our lives with gratitude. But it’s now March, and I’m tired of paying high energy bills. I’m tired of being behind on my Tuesday/Thursday classes. I’m tired of going to Google images just to remind myself what the sun looks like. You really need to think about moving on.

You are like the relative or old best friend that comes into town to visit for an extended period of time but doesn’t know when to leave. Having you around is great at first. Everyone remembers the last time we all got together and how fun that was; it seems like forever since we last saw each other. Then it gets old. After awhile it appears you don’t know when you have worn out your welcome. Let me clear up any confusion – it’s time to go.

The thing is – I miss spring. He is not scheduled to arrive until March 20, but I don’t think keeping things miserably cold until he arrives is going to make anyone miss you when you finally leave (whenever that may be, I hope soon). Remember when the average range of temperatures this time of year was mid 40s to high 60s? I miss those days.

I fully acknowledge I cannot control the weather. There is not much I can do to influence you one way or the other as far as the weekly forecast is concerned. Countless ancient peoples have had to learn this over the centuries, and I am certainly not about to perform a rain dance or kidnap a groundhog to prevent six more weeks of winter. I just thought if on the off chance you are an avid reader of the Optimist, then maybe I could persuade you to move things along. If not, maybe spring will decide to edge you out – I’m certainly a bigger fan of his at the moment.

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